God, etc

Posted: November 23rd, 2009 | Author: Nayak Polissar | Filed under: featured | No Comments »

I am out here 2000 miles from home on a job to help workers lead a better life. But what I wanted to say is that coming into an empty hotel room after travelling on a plane in public circumstances for hours and hours, I felt a kind of desolation. A very nice Indian man who owns this motel drove the shuttle that picked me up from the airport and has already offered to cook me eggs for breakfast. That’s good, I have something to look forward to.

Coming into that hotel room, I felt a kind of deep loneliness that I could easily have boiled away with some useless TV (or worse than useless TV). In my last post I talked about getting to know God and the gratitude that I feel to Sri Chinmoy for giving me the big picture (G-O-D).

That is relevant here, because when I come out of my context in Seattle, when I leave my nice house with pictures of Sri Chinmoy smiling, when I leave behind the bird drawings and the books by my Guru lining the shelves, a lot of cues about spiritual life are gone, and the support system all has to come from within.

Within is sometimes there and sometimes not, so the quest can be quite desert-like rather than dessert-like at times.

So where is this all leading? I sat down in my nice hotel room (that Indian owner has done an excellent job on this place), I sat down on the floor leaning against the generically nice couch, I sat with Sri Chinmoy’s meditation picture in front of me–a picture that he personally handed to me (and to many others) during a Christmas trip, I sat with the TV just a few feet away over there, and a towel was draped over it to prevent me from even thinking about turning it on, and I just cried and cried for loneliness for the Supreme. Where are You, God? That is what I felt in this nice but nowhere place. I also felt tremendous pressure to go and rip that towel off the TV and anesthetize my mind with its desired input of entertaining junk.

Then I knew that I would also have to come to this site and see what my friends have to say. Just coming here and seeing the names of people I know and don’t know, that has made a big difference.

Well, I meditated for about a half-hour, and it did its magic. The TV god did not grab me, no. I felt that even my tears were a presence of Him (and Her). I felt, “this is going to be ok.” My quest to discover my Friend, God, my Protector, God, my All, God– that continues.

Now, the funny thing is, if I want to go watch TV now, if I want to see what the rest of humanity is doing, if I want to see what moronic stuff, what humor, is out there, well, that’s fine.

So, what do we learn from this? We learn (well, I learn), that if the God touch is there then whatever we do has that God-touch. We also learn that if you call to God, He comes, She comes, It comes, They All come. That’s nice. I like that.

Nayak

Originally posted Sri Chinmoy Inspiration Group, 17th, 2008

TV Picture top right: Source: Flickr CC – Bonnaf

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